


Exception

by princessofhearts



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Arranged Marriage, Cheating, Depression, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Eating Disorders, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Foster Care, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Growing Up, Long-Distance Relationship, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Orphans, Slow Burn, Teen Romance, Underage Drinking, i wouldn't even call it canon divergence at this point, slightly purple
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-08 00:26:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11070216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessofhearts/pseuds/princessofhearts
Summary: As the heir to his father's throne, and child to a late mother, Noctis often feels alone. He makes close friends throughout his life that attempt to fill these gaps in his heart. His father pushes him into an arranged marriage with his long-time childhood friend, Lunafreya, who reigns over Tenebrae in her own mother's wake. They struggle to make a connection in light of the walls they've put up between each other. Things get even more frustrating when Noctis begins to develop feelings for the wrong person.





	1. Morning/Mourning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "To feel the love of people whom we love is a fire that feeds our life.” ― Pablo Neruda

The morning sun peaked out above the horizon, bathing the kingdom in its gentle light. Birds sang out in tweets and chirps, as the flutter of children's laughter rang out in accompaniment. Two little sneakers crunched the grass beneath them as they made their way into the schoolyard. Today was the first day back to school. A young boy looks up at his dad and smiles. His father holds his hand tight, hesitant to let him go.

"Are you excited, my son?"

"Uh-huh!" The boy flashes a big, bright smile.

When they reach the door of the school, his father kneels down before him, placing an assuring hand on his son's shoulder. He smiles warmly. 

"Be safe, Noctis."

"Dad, what are you talking about? It's just school!"

That was true; it was just school. That, however, was the reason he was worried in the first place. King Regis, sovereign over the nation of Lucis, had been wary of pampering his son and successor, Noctis. Regis wished for his son to grow humble, and treat their citizens as equals. He decided earlier in the year that he would enroll his son in Lucis' public school system, to allow him to integrate with society members of all classes. His advisers looked down upon this idea, but he remained adamant. However, with as much confidence as Regis held in his decision, he was always apprehensive when it came to leaving his child's side.

He heaved a sigh. "I know, I know. I just want to make you're safe. I'll always worry about you. I'm your father, after all."

"Dad!" Noctis rolled his eyes, then settled his vision back on his father's face. He laughed. "I'll be safe! I promise!"

Noctis was very excited about his first day in school. Before then, his curriculum consisted of his royal duties, proper manners, and other various studies that he deemed very boring. As he stepped into the classroom, many students turned their heads and stared. He just wanted to roll his eyes into oblivion. The title of prince was often more annoying than anything else. Being royalty certainly wasn't all it was cracked up to be. In his opinion, there were far too many chores for a young prince and little freedom to go off on his own as he wanted. At that age, he hadn't considered the privileges his royal lineage had granted him. He just wanted to be a normal kid.

Whispers and murmurs washed over the classroom as students gazed in awe. Noctis sighed and brushed his way past everyone dismissively. He chose to sit in the back; hopefully, his classmates would be encouraged by the teacher to look forward, and he could finally get prying eyes off of him. In the last row of desks sat a blonde boy of stout physique, who stared out the window wistfully. His quiet presence was very welcoming to the overwhelmed prince. He calmly sat down beside the blonde, his chair squeaking beneath the weight. This desk hadn't been used very often. To the misfortune of his classmate, other kids had ostracized the blonde boy for his appearance and dorky personality, and the child had become an outcast. He looked over at Noctis timidly, expecting a cruel joke or snide remark. Instead, Noctis cast a confused expression after a moment's passing of silence. 

"What? Am I not allowed to sit here?" he asked chastely.

"Wh- uh, no, I mean, yeah, yeah, you can. It's just, um, people never sit by me," the boy tried to say as he stumbled over his words. 

"Well, I am. Cause you're quiet." The prince turned in his chair to directly face the boy sitting next to him. "Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against townspeople. I just hate all the attention. All they wanna talk about is my dad. It's boring, I don't care about that stuff."

"Well, uh, what do you want people to talk to you about? I mean, I can keep quiet if you want, but if you need someone to talk to.."

Noctis rested his head on his hand, and looked up as he contemplated for a moment about what he would like to talk about. "I have a big brother, Ignis. He's not really my brother but that's what I call him. He's really cool, he knows all kinds of stuff about science or whatever, and he lets me play video games in his room."

The blonde perked up. "You like video games?"

"Yeah, duh!" He rolled his eyes once again.

"Check this out," he said as he reached into his schoolbag. He took out a blue Gameboy Advance system, flashing a look around the classroom before he handed it to Noctis.

"Whoa..." He took the handheld system into his hands. Colorful graphics flashed on the screen, painting a pixelated scene of a man in red hopping across green fields littered with mushrooms and turtles. Noctis sat back in his seat as he pressed his fingers into the buttons, directing the tiny man through the stage.

"If, uh, if you really like it, you can borrow it for a few days," the blonde offered. "I just got a new game for my PS2, so I really only play my Gameboy whenever I'm out somewhere."

Noctis' eyes didn't deviate from the screen as he spoke, "That's what my brother has. My dad is always making me go out and exercise, you know? So he doesn't like for me to play games all the time. Ignis has one cause he's always studying and stuff, and he's a little older, but my dad won't get me my own."

"That sucks. I don't have a brother. I don't have a dad either, really. I don't know any of my family is. I'm staying with some nice people until they can find them for me," he admitted.

"Oh, well, I hope they find them. My mom died when I was little, so all I have is my dad." A tinge of pain struck Noct's heart as he spoke, but he did his best to ignore this feeling. "And he's always really busy with his king stuff, so I spend more time with my brother and our assistants around the house."

"You can always spend time with me," he replied, "I don't have anyone to spend time with. If you want to, that is."

"Yeah? I think I will. You're not annoying like everyone else," the prince said, looking up from his game to make eye contact with the boy sitting beside him. "If you didn't already know, my name's Noctis. What was your name again?"

The blonde boy smiled excitedly. "Prompto."

  


* * *

 

  


Over the next few years, Noctis and Prompto's friendship blossomed. Prompto accompanied the prince to his mansion all the time, and Noctis visited his friend's foster home a few times himself. They had both grown quite a lot in this short time, approaching puberty and overcoming the trials and tribulations that came with it. Regis had instilled another friendship in his son's life during this time; one with lady Lunafreya of Tenebrae. King Regis had met with Sylva Nox Fleuret, queen of Tenebrae, during an annual congregation of the nations years earlier. They made an arrangement with one another; to have their children marry when they came of age. In effect, this would forge a symbolic union between Lucis and Tenebrae and ease political tensions with other nations. As such, Noctis and Lunafreya were acquainted with each other since early childhood in hopes that they would form a close relationship.

Luna became a dear friend to Noctis. She and her mother visited Lucis frequently in his junior years, but the visits grew seldom over time. Luna's studies took a bigger priority in her life, and eventually, she only came to visit Noctis during summer breaks. In spite of the distance, they stayed in contact over phone calls and e-mail, and Regis maintained his intent for his son to take an interest in her. Noctis found Luna to be very pretty and graceful, but didn't feel a romantic attraction toward her. He didn't dwell on these feelings very much, figuring he's just a child and has better things to worry about. Regardless of a romantic connection, he appreciated having Luna as a friend. She was very trustworthy, and gave excellent advice on account of being a little older than Noctis. She was kind, level-headed, and saw the good in everyone. He knew that no matter what happened between them, Luna would be there for him.

In late fall, four years after Prompto had first met Noctis, they were preparing to celebrate his upcoming eleventh birthday. Despite having befriended the distinguished prince, he was still bullied by other schoolmates, mostly for his appearance. He had jumped around from different foster homes, and his various caretakers usually spoiled him with gifts and food. As a result, he had trouble developing schedules for things, along with sticking to a normal diet, and ended up gaining a significant amount of weight. Although Prompto wasn't terribly unhealthy, he was noticeably large enough that other children would ridicule him for it. He also lacked the social skills and emotional stability to stand up against the harassment, so he chose to avoid socializing at all - with the exception of Noctis.

Noctis would never openly admit it, but he loved to celebrate birthdays, especially when it came to Prompto's. Prompto was easily excitable in spite of his hardships; when he got really happy about something, his whole face would light up like sunbeams and a rosy smile would fill his cheeks. There was something special Noctis felt about evoking such an expression in Prompto. His birthday was the perfect time for such excitement. Noctis walked down the school hallway to meet with his friend outside. In his hands, he held a small box tied up with a ribbon. A small card was placed securely beneath the ribbon's bow. He tried to imagine what his friend's face would like once he opened it. He smiled with this image in mind as he opened up the door to the schoolyard.

"Shut up, faggot!"

All the color in Noctis' face drained.

"Aww, you made the butterball cry!" another student said as she laughed.

A group of students surrounded Prompto, who was sat in the grass with his face in his knees. His body trembled as he sobbed. The students laughed and abetted one another as they taunted the poor boy with cruel jokes. Noctis seethed with rage, almost crushing the present in his hands. He walked over to the group with heavy steps, making himself known.

"Leave him alone," he growled. They turned their head sheepishly to look at him. One student chuckled, putting on a strong front.

"What are you gonna do? Call your daddy to come help you?" The other students laughed along with him, tailing on his comment.

Noctis calmly placed the present down on the ground and scoffed through his teeth. He looked straight up at him for a moment, then slammed his fist into the bridge of the boy's nose. The other kids scurried off as the boy held his bleeding nose in one hand. He struck back at Noctis, colliding with his cheekbone. The two boys swung at each other, landing punch after punch, drawing blood and bruises. The blonde sat in shock as he watched them fight over him. A couple of teachers finally ran outside to separate the fight, before carrying the boys off to the principal's office.

Prompto wiped away his tears and sat up from the grass. He looked around nervously. After some hesitation, he picked up the box Noctis had left behind, noticing a card tucked neatly underneath the ribbon that held it together. On the inside of the card, in elegant handwriting, it read, "I know you can't have pets where you're at, so I got you the next best thing. Happy Birthday, Prom!" Unwrapping the present revealed a small stuffed chocobo. Prompto smiled and held the plush to his chest.

At home, Noctis' father went off the wall. He berated his son for getting in a fight, while simultaneously worrying for his son's life. "Think about what the papers will say about this incident!" he said. "I can't have my son, a future king, beating civilians!" Noctis held a handkerchief to his nose while it bled as he sat in the throne, listening to his father's rants.

"I will not have this behavior anymore. What if the next time you can't defend yourself? I knew I should have listened to Cor," he rambled on. Noctis rolled his eyes. "That's it. I'm pulling you out of this school. You're going to the royal academy where you belong."

He shot up. "But what about Prompto!? I can't leave him behind!"

"You should have considered your little friends before assaulting a civilian!"

"But that's the whole reason I did it in the first place, Dad! Some kids were bullying him, and he was totally defenseless, laying on the ground, crying. I stood up for him. I can make new friends, but Prompto doesn't have any friends like that. He doesn't even have a dad or," Noctis paused, "...or a mom. He has no one but me."

Regis looked upon his son, who was now hanging his head down in sadness. He heaved a sigh. He struggled for years to refrain from spoiling his child. The notion of sending another child, of no particular regard to the royal family, a _pauper_ , to the most prestigious school in the nation should've been completely out of the question. Nevertheless, Regis couldn't say no. The passing of his beloved wife put Noctis on a high priority in his heart. He couldn't deny that he wanted the absolute best for his son, and of course, Noctis himself knew how to tug on his father's heart strings.

"Alright. I will send him along with you," he sighed, watching Noctis' face light up like a firework. "But do not make me regret this!"

He phoned his friend immediately to tell him the news and arrange with his father the details. Prompto thought it was the best birthday gift he'd ever gotten.

  


* * *

 

  


In lieu of Noctis' "tendency toward aggression" (as his father put it), a boy about Ignis' age began staying with the family and escorting Noctis to and from school. Regis briefly explained to his son that Gladiolus is the son of a close friend of his, and their family has acted as devoted guardians to the Caelum family for many years. Gladiolus took it upon himself to teach Noctis basic offensive and defensive skills, and of course, some obligatory lectures on fair fighting. Noctis thought Gladio was "really cool" and looked up to him fondly, calling him "my even bigger brother."

A few years down the road, the boys go through their fair share of changes. Prompto lost a significant amount of weight, arguably more than what is healthy to lose in a short frame of time. Unbeknownst to his friends and caretakers, he had taken on some self-destructive behaviors. Whenever anyone asked, he chalked it up to going through a sudden growth spurt, but the real reason was much less innocuous. He didn't want to be "the fat kid" anymore, and he would do whatever it took to get rid of that image, his well-being notwithstanding.

Noctis, on the other hand, was dealt a different hand of cards. He felt pressured by his father to find love in Lunafreya, and in a way, it seemed like the only thing his father cared about when it came to him. Regis had distanced himself from his son, distracted by his own duties to watch over the kingdom and maintain peace. Noctis knew it was not the fault of his father abandoning him, but loneliness ate away at his heart nonetheless. There were many nights he laid awake, clutching at his chest as he cried in solitude. He never sought comfort from others, as much as he wanted to find solace in someone else. He believed that his friends and family were caught up in their own lives, and that, at best, his troubles were a burden. He didn't think they would understand. His attention was often called to for princely obligations, but there was only one person who seemed to care for how he was feeling as _Noctis_ , not as the prince. Prompto, his closest companion, looked onto Noctis as a friend, not as a celebrity or a colleague. Noctis felt alone, even when he was surrounded by people who said they cared for him, but this loneliness faded whenever Prompto came around.

In the summer prior to his fourteenth birthday, Luna came to visit Noctis with her mother at her side. The queen looked drained. Her frame was frail and brittle, and her eyes were sunken in. Her daughter held onto her tightly as they walked together through the mansion's corridors. Luna laid her down in a guest bedroom, and nurses filed into the room behind them, shutting the door with a slam. Noctis had hoped his father would give him comforting words, but instead he brushed past him wordlessly, attending to some undisclosed business. He stood idly in the vacant hall.

Later, Luna took Noctis down to a wildlife preserve she fancied. They held hands as they walked through a beautiful garden together. Vines coiled around the stepping stones laid over the dirt, and a canopy of lush greenery hung over their heads. The bushes were adorned with prismatic perennials, painted in hues of purples and reds, curved into intricate patterns. Their footsteps clacked against the stones as they reached a small alcove, decorated with a wooden swing tied onto a branch, surrounded by beautiful blue flowers. He sat on the swing, throwing his head back as he looked up at the sky. Luna plucked a flower from one of the shrubs before sitting beside him.

"The label says it's a gentiana. They look just like the sylleblossoms from my hometown," she said as she ran her fingers over the delicate petals.

Noctis turned his head to look at her. "In Tenebrae?"

"Yes. Perhaps next summer, you can come there to accompany me." Luna's smile faltered as she looked back down at the flower in her hands. "My mother.. wanted to visit Lucis one more time." 

Noctis opened his mouth to respond, but couldn't find the right words.

"She's not feeling well as of late. The nurses have told us.." she paused. Her throat felt hot and coarse. The words burned as she spoke; "...to begin planning ahead." She squeezed her eyes shut, resisting tears from falling, but it was too late. Tears ran down her face, and she gave a pained sigh as she gently wiped them away. Noctis reached a hand out to caress her back.

"I'm sorry, Luna. I... know what it's like to lose someone. I don't think I know exactly what you're feeling, cause I was just a kid, but-"

"Thank you, Noctis."

She turned to him suddenly, and leaned in to kiss him. The abrupt contact caught Noctis off guard, but he didn't dislike it. He closed his eyes and kissed her back gently. Then, just as suddenly as she had pulled him in, she turned away.

"I hold you very dear to my heart," she said, "I don't want to lose you."

After that day, they drew apart. Luna spent much more time with her mother for the rest of their summer holiday, despite the fact that she had come down specifically to visit with Noctis. He understood why she chose to do so, yet it still hurt that even Luna had left him in the dust. He tried to suppress these selfish concerns, but they persisted, intensifying the feelings of isolation that Noctis struggled with. She went home without so much as a goodbye.

Come autumn, Prompto spent a lot of nights over at the Caelum household per the prince's request. It wasn't out of romantic interest or even out of a platonic interest, but he simply didn't want to feel alone anymore. Prompto definitely wasn't going to decline, and something about his unabashed fondness toward Noctis soothed his heartache. They would stay up late playing against each other in video games, or watching through the expansive library of movies his father had built up, or sometimes, they just talked. Noctis felt like he could talk to Prompto for hours about practically anything. They slept close to each other, and although they didn't embrace one another, the company was addicting in a strange way. However, there were many late nights where Noctis was laid quietly half-asleep as he watched Prompto's chest rise and fall like the waves of an ocean. He would reach out a hand and rest it over one of Prom's as the blonde mumbled in his sleep. Some mornings, they would wake up with their arms around each other and legs tangled in the sheets, but they silently brushed off these occurrences. Maybe it was out of embarrassment, or maybe they just didn't want to ruin what they had. Sleeping in each other's presence proved to be too comforting for them to face the reality of their relationship.


	2. Loved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, "The Return of the King"

Prompto clutched at his chest, his heartbeat pounding through his veins. Strands of hair clung to his forehead as beads of sweats rolled down his neck. The world around him faded back into consciousness as his breathing steadied. His eyes darted around the room. Starlight glimmered into his bedroom as cold wind blew past the curtains. In his haze, he lingered on a yellow blur. He could make out a tiny orange beak and beady black eyes. It was the chocobo Noctis had gifted him years earlier. He breathed in sharply and exhaled slowly.

_It was just a dream... It was just a dream..._

Nightmares like these had terrorized Prompto for years. His mind composed horrifying visions of daemons stalking him. They often appeared to him as dark, inky figures that stood at his feet, bleeding onto the bed as they stared down at him. He couldn't move or call for help; his limbs turned to stone and his voice made no sound. He would be completely paralyzed, fighting to kick and scream his way out. Eventually he'd wake up, tearing his body from the bed as a dull ache coursed through his muscles.

Prompto weakly crawled over his bed and took the stuffed chocobo in his arms. He hugged onto it tightly as big tears fell over his cheeks. His eyes continued to survey his surroundings in an attempt to ground himself. This room, this _house_ , had become more familiar to him with every passing day. This was the longest consecutive time he had spent in the same foster home. However, he held no excitement when it came to this sojourn. Prompto spent his entire life bouncing from house to house, never finding a home in any of them. At first, he looked forward to the day that all the back and forth would stop, and he'd finally settle in with a real family - but eventually, he conceded that that day would never come. He had overheard them speaking about it before; after a certain age, you were more likely to just outgrow the system than have a chance at being adopted. For a long time, he aspired to become more agreeable, more presentable, more lovable - more "adoptable." By this point, however, he knew his efforts were fruitless. Unlovable, unwanted, a burden - these were the labels that he believed to define him.

All of his possessions were cramped into a couple book bags that sat in the middle of the floor. No matter how long he stayed here, he would not unpack his things or decorate his room or hang up his clothes. They would only get lost along the way. No matter how long he stayed here, he knew he would be leaving again soon enough. He didn't entertain himself with daydreams anymore. Calling any household he had been in a "family" felt like he was grasping at straws. The closest thing to family he had ever known was in his friends, and even those were few and far between.

Prompto preferred to stay with Noctis whenever he could. As luck would have it, the prince was very receptive to this proposal. Prompto made a habit out of sleeping in Noct's bed. It was the one bed that stayed in his life through everything, after all. At least when he was with Noctis, he wouldn't wake up from nightmares alone, clutching a stuffed animal as he wept. Noctis, in his slumber, could mumble to him, "It's not real. Jus' a dream," and they'd fall back asleep peacefully. He might even have nestled up and fallen asleep with his arms wrapped around him, feigning ignorance in the morning. That act alone could melt away all the heartbreak Prompto begged deliverance from.

The blonde wiped away his tears and grabbed his phone from the side table. It was just a shoddy flip phone - the best he could get in his current situation - but he was very fond of it regardless. He filled up empty nights just tapping the buttons to fun tunes and exploring what little he could do with the limited interface. Prom was the type of person to decorate and organize everything in his phone and other electronics; it was the only thing he was free to personalize without having to tear everything down a month later. The phone was adorned with various stickers, and a single charm that hung from the back - a key-shaped sword similar to the one from his favorite video game series. He curled into a ball, resting his head against the fluffy chocobo as he flipped his phone open.

"i hate this place," he typed out. His thumb hesitated over the "send" button for a moment before pressing into it. He sighed as he watched a playful mailbox dance on his screen to confirm the message was sent. Almost immediately, his phone buzzed, and Noctis' name popped up.

 **[Noct | 2:04AM]:** Whats wrong??

  **[Prom | 2:04AM]:** just a nitemare. im fine its okay

Noctis rolled his eyes so hard, Prompto could practically feel it all the way from there.

 **[Noct | 2:05AM]:** Oh ok. Yeah obv youre just fine.  
  **[Noct | 2:05AM]** : Come on be real w/ me

  **[Prom | 2:06AM]:** okay fine. im just kinda sad tbh.

He paused, mulling over all the things he wanted to tell him.

  **[Prom | 2:08AM]:** idk where to start...

  **[Noct | 2:09AM]:** What is it. Do you miss someone?

His heart hurt as he ran his thumbs over the keyboard.

 **[Prom | 2:10AM]:** ..i dont have anyone to miss.

 **[Noct | 2:11AM]:** Oh so you never miss me??

Prompto confessed,

 **[Prom | 2:11AM]:** of course i do. all the time. ur the only person that cares

 **[Noct | 2:11AM]:** Kidding  
  **[Noct | 2:12AM]:** Oh

 **[Prom | 2:12AM]:** oh

Noctis sighed.

 **[Noct | 2:14AM]:** I miss you too, whenver youre not at my house. Im sorry Prom. I know it hurts

Prompto scrambled to find the words to explain all his issues. He had so many things he wanted to confide in someone. He was desperate to find solace in somebody, anybody. It was so often that he would reach his hand out for help, only for it to be smacked away. So many worries flurried his mind, he couldn't focus long enough on one train of thought to make something coherent out of it. All of his deepest, darkest feelings flooded up to the surface, and his heart gasped for air as he broke down crying.

Through the tears, he finally wrote out,

  **[Prom | 2:17AM]:** i just wanna be loved.

 **[Noct | 2:20AM]:** You are loved, Prompto.

Despite the fact that these were the exact words Prompto had been wishing for someone to say, it just made him cry harder.

 **[Prom | 2:24AM]:** idk what t say now. im crying rly hard. im sorr y.

Noctis grew exasperated.

  **[Noct | 2:24AM]:** You dont have anything to be sorry for.  
**[Noct | 2:30AM]:** Are you ok? Call me

  **[Prom | 2:31AM]:** ur right. i dont have anything to be sorry for cuz i dont have anything in the 1st place

 **[Noct | 2:31AM]:** Thats not what I meant. Prom please call me

Tears and snot ran down Prompto's face as he dialed Noct's number. He didn't stop crying while the call connected. Suddenly, the dial tone stopped. He sniffled. "Hello?"

"Prompto?"

"Hey..." he whimpered.

"Prom, what is going on? Why are you crying?"

He sniffled through ragged breaths. "I don't... I don't know, there's just so much-" He bawled.

"It-it's okay. It's okay," Noctis stammered. He bit his lip. It's not that he didn't want to comfort his friend, but he had a lot of trouble dealing with his _own_ emotions, let alone others'. He had no idea what to do. "Umm, listen. I don't really know what to say either. But I'll stay on the phone with you, a-and you don't have to say anything, you can just cry if you want. And I'll be here, til you hang up."

"Thank you.." he choked out through stifled sobs. He gripped a spot in the chocobo's fur as he cried into the phone. Noctis laid in his own bed with a pained expression as he listened to Prompto's sobs and sniffles. His bawling gradually came to a stop, and Noct stayed on the line as his breathing steadied. Listening to his breathing was surprisingly relaxing; he could barely keep his eyes open at this point. He laid there for a few minutes, probably longer, just listening to his friend's soft, slow gasps.

"...Hello? Prom?"

No response. Poor Prompto had cried himself to sleep over the phone. Noctis hung up, before falling asleep as well.

  


* * *

 

  


Heels clicked against the tiles of the frigid hospice floor as lady Lunafreya and her brother, Ravus, made their way down the halls. They were escorted by a couple of young nurses clad in pinafore dresses, a common attire for volunteers. Down in the last room at the end of the hallway stayed their mother, Sylva. Disease was steadily draining her life force from her, and there was nothing the doctors could do to heal her, so instead they did what they could to make her comfortable in her last days.

One nurse stepped aside and opened the door for the two of them before walking in. Luna would have collapsed in a fit of tears right then had she not been holding her composure. Her mother laying before her looked like a different person. She was ghostly pale, wheezing with her every breath. Her skin draped over her bones more loosely now, as if she were literally falling apart at the seams. Luna rushed over to her mother's side, caressing her shoulder, as Ravus stopped in front of the door way. His feet suddenly felt too heavy to move.

"Mom..." she said.

Sylva smiled, reaching a trembling hand out to her daughter. Luna held tight with both of her hands, struggling to breathe as a lump caught in her throat. Her eyes began to water.

"My dear... You mustn't cry. You're far too beautiful to waste your tears on such matters," she said.

Luna couldn't hold back her tears. She fell to floor as her knees gave out, still grasping her mother's hand. She rested her head down on her mother's shoulder and wept. Ravus composed himself a little better, gritting his teeth as his heart stung. He sighed deeply, moving to sit beside his mother as she lay in bed. Sylva lifted her other hand to comb through her daughter's hair as laid a kiss on her forehead, before gracefully extending it out to her son. He accepted, and took hold of her palm as he nodded his head in grief.

"My darling children, listen to me. I am not afraid of the afterlife. I do not fear nor evade death. I am prepared for what comes, and I know that we all wish for my suffering to end."

Luna lifted her head to look at her mother's face. "Mom, no..."

"My time has come, Lunafreya. Do not grieve for me. I am at peace." She turned to her son. "Ravus, please look after Lunafreya for me. You have grown into a dignified young man. Don't ever change," she said as she gripped his hand.

"I love you, mother." His voice cracked. He held back his sorrows with all the willpower he could muster.

"I love you, mommy..." Luna cried.

"And I love the both of you."

Sylva's children hugged her. They spent a long while visiting with her, reminiscing about fond memories they've all shared and breaking down in tears more than a few times. She gave them some lasting words of advice, along with many comforting ones. They stayed with her until long past nightfall, when the nurses came back in to alert them that visiting hours are over. By this point, she had been sleeping soundly, with Luna laying against her shoulder sleeping along with her. Luna felt awful leaving her behind, even if she would come again in the morning as soon as visitation was open again. Ravus led her out with a supporting hand against her back.

When Luna looked back once more, she saw a figure standing over her mother. A woman with long black hair that framed her face, and ruby red lips that stood out against her pale skin. She kept her eyes closed, observing the world through clairvoyant means. Luna was caught off guard, but for some reason, she didn't feel threatened by this mysterious presence. It was as if she was watching over her mother in her final moments, an angel of death. In a blink, the woman disappeared.

  


* * *

 

  


It was another late night for Noctis and his friend. They were laid next to each other in the prince's oversized bed, gaming on their handhelds. The room was mostly silent, aside from the faint sounds of their fingers pressing into plastic buttons. The little cactaur shaped clock that sat on Noct's nightstand read **2:46AM**.

Suddenly, a languished moan echoed from the other room. The boys dropped their games and froze in place. Next, they heard a mattress squeak rhythmically as - what was presumably - the bed frame beat against the wall, accompanied by muffled moans and groans. They turned their heads and looked at each other with wide eyes as they listened, as if to telepathically confirm they were both hearing this.

"Whoa," Prompto whispered, breaking the silence between the two boys, "what do you think they're doing in there?"

"They're having sex, moron," Noctis shot back in a hushed voice. Prompto blushed, averting his gaze.

"That's not what I meant!" he muttered.

The moans continued. A female voice cried out in pleasure. "Harder!" she pleaded. The bed creaked a little louder in response.

The boys awkwardly drifted their eyes around the room, avoiding each others' line of sight. Prompto pursed his lips. He felt a familiar ache in his loins, but he knew that his intentions would be obvious if he excused himself to the bathroom.

The sultry voice mewled again, "Oh Iggy~ You're so big~"

Shock painted Noctis' face as Prompto snickered under his breath. The bed frame scraped against the wall with more vigor, as the voice begged, "Don't stop! Don't stop!" until coming to a gradual finish. A medley of deep groans and feminine moans faded out. The boys waited several minutes as silence built up in the air.

"Wow," Noctis said, once he thought it was safe to speak.

Prompto gulped. "You're telling me!"

"Ya think she liked it?" They shared an awkward laugh that dwindled back to silence.

"I-I, um," the blonde sputtered, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." He got out of the bed to leave, pausing in the door way. "I just have to pee," he insisted, rushing his way out.

Noctis stared up at the ceiling. Obviously, he knew what his friend was really doing. His mind wandered, loitering on passive visuals of Prompto standing above the toilet as he jerked himself off. Noctis felt a warmth pool in his belly. These thoughts made him feel shameful and confused. Moreover, they got him very excited. He tried to brush them off, but something about these fantasies were elusively enticing. He grabbed his PSP and continued his game where he left off to distract himself. After a couple more minutes passed, the doorknob clicked open and Prompto climbed back into bed.

His head fell against the pillow and sleep took him without hesitation. Noctis chose to stay awake for a while longer, entranced by the hypnotic gameplay on-screen. Dim sunlight peaked into his room through the blinds, and he knew then he had to stop. He tossed his handheld onto his nightstand and turned to face Prompto.

Noctis dreamily examined his friend's face. He wore a signature pout, even in his sleep. Noctis' eyes followed along the curves of his parted lips and trailed up the line of his jaw. Tiny flecks of tan skin were peppered across his cheeks, complemented by a rosy blush. His lashes, shivering as his eyelids twitched, faded out to a soft blonde that was almost invisible in the white daylight. Sun-kissed strands of golden hair tousled over his face as he slept.

The prince took a leap of faith, shifting up close to Prompto and wrapping an arm around his little body. He snuggled his face into the blonde's hair. It smelled like strawberries or citrus, maybe - Noctis couldn't really pinpoint the exact scent, but it was as soothing as it was addicting. Prompto shifted in his sleep to turn toward the warm figure, driving himself deeper into Noct's arms.

Worrisome thoughts scurried around the prince's mind. This was unnatural, impure. What would his father think? What would Luna say to him? Would his friends and family disown him? These ideas were terrifying - and yet, he didn't pull himself from Prompto's grasp. He leaned into his touch. Something about the way his arm curled perfectly around him, the way he looked as he nuzzled into his chest, convinced him that it was natural and pure and right. In a weird way, he felt like he belonged here, in another boy's embrace. Noctis knew he would be shunned if everyone knew of this affair, yet the moment Prompto touched him like this, he just didn't care anymore. Not until morning, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I made some edits to the text messages here, so now they're easier to read.  
> The next chapter is coming along, don't worry! I just take forever to write bc I'm so critical of myself orz


	3. Absence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely." - Charles M. Schulz

That summer, Luna did not come down to visit Noctis. She did not return his calls or respond to his e-mails. In fact, she hadn't even touched her phone in weeks. There was only one person she cared to speak to, and she would occupy her every hour just to see her. Every day, she would sit at the side of her mother's hospital bed, for as long as she could until the nurses pried her from the room. Even if on some of those days, they didn't speak at all and instead sat in silence reading or sleeping, her mother was the only company she cherished. Ravus would often accompany his sister, reciting heartwarming lines of poetry from his books or sifting through childhood photos with the two of them. He tried to keep an optimistic frame of mind in lieu of Luna's emotional state. Luna was absolutely disconsolate in this dark time in her life. She had become so preoccupied with holding onto her mother, everyone and everything else became secondary. 

Noctis was one of those secondary people. Regis insisted that Luna was simply concerned about her mother, informing his son of the queen's fragile condition as updates came in. The prince tried to relate to her sorrow, having lost his own mother at a young age, but their pain wasn't parallel. Noctis held only a few, very dear memories of his mother. He would have given anything for more. Luna, on the other hand, was losing someone she did have all that time with; someone she had grown with, a matriarch who nursed and raised her from birth. Her loss was not any better or worse than his - just too different to compare. Although their sorrow was not matched, neither flame flickered out brighter than the other. It was never a competition over who hurt more; loss is not a goal to hurdle or a ribbon to cut. Noctis simply wished he could better understand. 

He wished she would accept his plea to comfort her. The cold sting of rejection bit at his heart. She refused all communication - although she never told him "no" outright, all of his attempts to reach out were met with silence. He knew it wasn't intentional, that she wasn't hurting him out of spite or malice, but the heartache endured. Along with it came guilt; he felt selfish for feeling rejected. 

To make matters worse, his closest friend had also been absent from his life. Prompto had been moved to another household yet again - one much more strict than the last - and their sleepovers came to a screeching halt. They were only able to see each other during one or two classes on school days, and come summer break, Prompto went silent on the prince too. The isolation from his loved ones was slowly killing Noctis from the inside out. For a good while, all he did was sleep and stay to himself in his bedroom.

Until one morning, he woke up far too early. Bright sunlight flooded in through his window, nearly blinding him as he turned to get up. As much as he despised waking himself, he couldn't will himself to fall back asleep. He untangled his ankles from the bedsheets, and shuffled across the floor as he made his way to the kitchen. The blueprints of his house had been etched into his brain after so many years, and he could still perfectly navigate every corridor without so much as opening his eyes. Next thing he knew, he was standing at the kitchen counter, clawing open a cereal box and dumping colorful flakes into a bowl. He took a swig out of the milk jug before pouring some into his cereal, and shambled off into the dining room. He barely even squinted as he sat down at the table and proceeded to shovel spoonfuls of sugar into his mouth. 

"Good morning."

He peeked his eyes open to see Ignis sitting across from him, reading a page from the newspaper. The elder sipped nonchalantly from a coffee mug, fogging up his glasses in the process.

"Morning," the prince replied - although it wasn't as intelligible through a mouthful of food.

Ignis wiped off his frames with a small handkerchief he pulled from his shirt pocket. 

"You should consider a healthier option for breakfast. Sugary cereals won't provide you the nutritional value needed to get through your day," he said as he put his glasses back on. Noctis stared at him with no particular expression. Ignis raised his eyebrows at him, anticipating a response. Instead, the prince silently lifted his spoon back up and continued to scarf down his cereal. Ignis shook his head and sighed. He went back to reading his paper as Noctis sleepily nibbled away.

From the other room, he could hear a loud _beep_ which he associated with the coffee machine. Soft footfalls approached the dining room not a few moments later.

"Good morning, Igg-" A female figure stopped in her tracks as the prince looked up at her. This strange woman was very shapely; he could still see her silhouette through the white dress shirt she was wearing - likely one of Ignis'. A pair of fitted shorts wrapped around her buxom hips, accentuating the curves of her thighs. Her fingers fiddled with the handle of a coffee cup. "Oh. Uhh, hi there. I, uh, didn't realize you were awake." He blinked.

Ignis poked his head up from the paper. "Ah! My apologies, my liege. I have yet to formally introduce the two of you. Noctis, this is Aranea. She's my-" He paused, blushing. "...girlfriend. Aranea, this is Prince Noctis."

"Ah, the elusive prince." She did a mock curtsy, lifting one side of her shirt as she bowed her legs. "Good morning to you too, your highness."

He made a sour face. "Noct is fine." 

"So," Aranea started, as she plopped herself down beside Ignis, crossing her legs over the side of the chair. "What are you two fine young men getting into today?"

Ignis folded over the page he was reading, and pointed at a specific line of text to her. "The opera house will be performing 'I Want To Be Your Canary' around noon today. It’s a classic play, one of my favorites. I... thought it might be nice for us to attend together."

She tilted her head in Noct's direction. "How 'bout it, kiddo? You comin' with us?"

"I'm not a kid. I'm fourteen," was his only response.

"Ohoho! Prince Attitude's got a mouth on him," she said, resting a hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder.

"That he does. You should hear him when he _hasn't_ had his eight hours. Or should I say, twelve," Ignis said.

"Um, I'm sitting right here, you know."

"Anyways, I'm gonna go get dressed," Aranea said, leaning over to kiss her lover's cheek before prancing off to, presumably, his bedroom.

"Noctis, you know you don't have to come with us if you aren't in the mood. I wouldn't want to impose," Ignis said. Noctis mulled it over for a moment, but decided he may as well go out somewhere rather than stay inside by himself for the third week in a row.

He sighed dejectedly. "Nah, I'll go. Not like I have anything better to do."

Four-odd hours later, the three of them found themselves at the opera house with time to spare before the play began. Noctis bought himself a soda and candies from the concession stands, with Ignis following close behind to scold him for not taking care of his diet. The bespeckled young man and his girlfriend mingled with other attendees as the prince stood off to the side, sipping on his drink as he played with his phone. He scrolled through his messages, reading back over dozens of texts sent. The inbox was empty, and he conceded it would stay that way. He almost started to regret tagging along.

The lights in the lobby dimmed as they entered the auditorium to take their seats. The theater’s set hosted scenery of a medieval-type castle, with two crescent moons hanging in the background. A man dressed in faux royal garb walked out to center stage, thanking everyone for coming as he introduced the cast and delivered an allegorical exposition. The spotlights went out for a moment, before flashing back on over the opened doors of the castle. Three characters stood before the audience as the first act began.

> _"Bereft of father! Bereft of mother! Marcus! Thou hast lost even thy love!"_
> 
> _"Fortune hath escape'd thee! For what end shalt thou live?"_
> 
> _"For the sake of our friend... Let us bury our steel in the heart of the wretched King Leo!"_
> 
> They all raised their swords to the sky.
> 
> _Aye!_

The rest of the stage is illuminated, as the three swordsmen run out to defend their friend, Marcus, in a dramatic standoff against the king's cohorts. A fierce storm bellows as grandiose music plays in accompaniment, and Noctis becomes totally entranced by the performance. Ignis and Aranea were a little more focused on each other, but the prince didn't care - he didn't even notice them sucking face as the dramatic scene played out. Moments later, another swordfight ensued, this time between two of Marcus's friends.

> _"Consider this, Zidane! If Prince Schneider were to marry Princess Cornelia, peace would reign over both their kingdoms!"_
> 
> Zidane shook his head. 
> 
> _"Tis foolishness! If all were so easy, why, none would suffer in this world!"_

These succinct lines of dialogue sparked many questions in the back of Noctis' head. For most of his life, he was pressured by his father to pursue Lunafreya in hopes that their wedding would "ease political tensions" between their nations. He never before questioned his father's aims, believing the king knew best for his kingdom - his duties consumed more of his time than his son did, after all. _But,_ Noctis thought, _would it really ease any ‘tension’?_ Perhaps that was all folly. Princess Cornelia didn't love Prince Schneider; she was in love with Marcus. If she were to marry Schneider only for the political gain, how would that truly represent their kingdoms? If a union is built off of a false relationship, what does that really tell of its subjects?

The two kinsmen clashed swords, leading their fight down into the aisle. Noctis watched as their blades connected with a _shing!_ right before his eyes. He could almost see his face in the reflection of the metal. Suddenly, one of the swordsmen forfeited the battle and ran off, with his opponent chasing close behind. The scene ended and darkness fell over the auditorium once again. A soft light shone on stage as the next act began, revealing the beautiful princess approaching a cloaked figure underneath the moonlight.

> _"Marcus?"_ she beckoned. _"Sweet Marcus, I fear I love thee more than I should!"_
> 
> The cloaked man turned to her, revealing himself to be the man she loved.
> 
> _"Princess... Wilt thou be happy, married to a lowly peasant such as I?"_
> 
> _"Prithee, call me 'princess' no more! Marcus, wilt thou truly cherish me, the king's only daughter? Or is such a desire too dear to wish for!? After our nuptials, shall I become no more than a puppet? A mindless puppet, never to laugh, never to cry? I wish to live my life under the sky. At times I shall laugh, at other times cry. For no life is more insincere than that lived as a masquerade."_
> 
> _"So much consideration thou hast given it! But worry not! Cast away thy trappings of royalty, and I shall swaddle thee in a gown of pure love! Never again will I part from thee! Pray, my love, make me thy canary to keep forever in the cage of thy bosom! Let us embark on the first ship tomorrow, before dawn can tell of our elopement!"_

Noctis' heart swelled as he listened to their avowals. The prince related himself with the princess; he wanted nothing more than to be treated as a real person, an equal, more than a royal pawn in political games. He got swept up in the fantasy. If only _he_ could be someone's canary, safely cooped up in the embrace of their heart. He wished _he_ could cast away his trappings of royalty, and run off in the night with his true love... Which begged the question, who was his true love? _Who is my Marcus?_ , he wondered.  


> _"O, love is the sweetest joy and the wildest woe. All I wish is to be by my sweet Marcus's side."_

  


* * *

 

  
Prompto was alone. Just as Noctis had been estranged from him, so had everyone else. He was moved into a new foster home, just as he anticipated, tossed out like trash. His life never held the comfort or stability that normal families had; when he was waived on yet again, he ended up somewhere that sought to tear down whatever stability he did have. It was there, in that home, he realized he hadn't been through a storm until he'd heard the thunderous boom of an angry voice, or felt the way leather strikes against his skin like forked lightning, or seen the rainfall that cascaded down the walls he’d built around himself.

From the outside, the place was nice. The grass was lush and green, with a few sprinklers littered across the yard to keep it fresh. Two little gnomes guarded the lawn from trespassers, security cameras notwithstanding. Floral shrubs lined the porch, flowering carnations in soft shades of blue. The house itself was built from brick, and the front door was always dressed with a unique wreath for each holiday. Beyond that door, however, things were not so nice.

On the inside, the house was empty. Sure, there was furniture in every room and pictures hung from the walls - but the framework was devoid of all feeling, and every chamber of this home's heart was hollow. There was no accord, no laughter, and nothing tantamount to love. From any other perspective, it seemed the opposite. Everyone who knew Ardyn, Prompto’s new foster parent, believed him to be a man of virtue. According to them, he was kind, gentle, and great with kids. Prompto was a troubled child, one who beseeched help with every action. Ardyn took it upon himself, out of the good of his heart, to put Prompto in his place and teach him right from wrong. Apparently, Prompto had a lot of learning to do.

It was as if everything he did was wrong, and even worse, everything wrong that was done, was done by him. If Ardyn got into an accident, that was no fault of his own - it was _Prompto's_ fault. He shouldn't have distracted him. If Ardyn lied to him, that was also Prompto's fault - he shouldn't have been so naive. If Ardyn broke a promise to him, that was Prompto's fault - he shouldn't have taken it so literally. If Ardyn beat him down with a belt, leaving welts and marks and drawing blood, that was Prompto's fault - he shouldn't have made him so angry.

As the seasons slowly dragged on, Prompto could feel his sanity slipping away. He couldn't do anything right. People were always trailing behind him and picking up his messes; Ardyn enlightened him on how much of a “burden” he really was. His friends may have been so tolerant of him at face value, but in the reality Ardyn had painted for him, they all pitied him at best. The truth, that Ardyn had been so kind enough to inform him of, was that everything about Prompto was irritating and embarrassing, if not downright nauseating. It was a miracle anyone ever listened to that annoying voice of his, let alone subject themselves to looking at his ugly, fat face. His only chance of salvation was for Ardyn to help him fix these humiliating flaws.

On the contrary, those supposed flaws could never actually be fixed. The real, raw truth of the matter was that Prompto had been manipulated to think this way. No matter what he changed about his appearance or his personality, Prompto was never going to fit the mold Ardyn had crafted for him, because no such mold ever existed. Ardyn played the role of a savior, trying to piece together the broken parts of a lost child, but it was nothing more than a persona. The man had convinced Prompto that he was worthless, disgusting, deserving of abuse - all under the guise of being the only one who cared enough to be honest with him. He was purposefully leading Prompto into self-doubt, self-hate, and self-harm. The intention was never to fix him; it was to break him even more.

This torment went on for several months. By summertime, there was nothing he could do but sleep and lay in bed. Prompto had had his phone and other belongings discarded on his first day here. He was sure his friends had forgotten him by now, if they had even noticed his absence in the first place. He wasn’t allowed to go out by himself, since he lacked a phone, essentially trapping him in the house. He also wasn’t allowed to make his own food or watch television unless Ardyn was there to supervise, and he rather preferred being alone than being forced to spend time with him.

Prompto laid in his bed as the sultry air licked his skin and left sweat dripping off of his torso. His clothes stuck to his skin as he stared up at his ceiling. He’d grown to know this ceiling very well; he could pick out little stars and circles in its popcorn design. He swore he could almost make out “Noct” if he could just find the right cluster of bumps again. Prompto spaced out, trying to distract himself by finding that name once more, as memories pervaded his mind.

_“What are you doing?”_

_What was I doing? Oh, that’s right. I was in the middle of doing homework, and my pen had given out on me. That was the last pen in my bag, too. So I had to get up and go find himself something else to write with. That’s why I was sifting through all the drawers in the kitchen._

_That’s why I ended up getting kind of carried away. I found my old phone in there, in one of the drawers in the island. I didn’t even turn it on or anything. I was just looking at it, and he came in. His voice was so loud and powerful. It terrified me._

_“I-I wasn’t doing anything. I was just looking for a pencil. I promise.”_

_“A pencil? Really?” He always mocks me. “Then why were you holding onto that phone? I’m not as dumb as you think I am.” He always accuses me of all these crazy things._

_“I never said you were dumb. I just- Okay, I found my phone in the drawer, but, like, it’s just a phone. I’ll put it back, you can take it, I don’t care. It’s not a big deal to me.”_

_“Of course it’s not a big deal to you. You always think of yourself and what you want. Did it not once cross your egotistical mind that it’s a big deal to me?”_

_He’s right. I was so selfish. I should’ve been nicer._

_“Why? It’s just a ph-”_

_“You think it’s perfectly fine to rummage through my belongings?” That was the part where his voice quaked the whole house, and I still regret not being nicer. “This house belongs to me, everything in this house belongs to me! You own no part of it, and you think it’s fine to tear everything apart looking for something you don’t even deserve?”_

_“N-no-”_

_“This is why no one likes you. A thief! A liar! I invited you into my home, gave you a roof over your head and a bed to sleep in, and this is how you repay me?”_

_I’m so selfish._

_“I’m sorry!”_

_“That sounds like a load of bull. You’re only ‘sorry’ because you don’t want to face repercussions. You couldn’t care less what you’ve done to me.”_

_“I am! I’m sorry!” I was yelling at this point. We were both yelling. Everything was so loud._

_“I’ll show you what it means to be sorry!”_

_And just like that, he had his hand around my neck, and he slammed me against the fridge door. My head and back hit the door at full force. I’m surprised it didn’t knock me out. I couldn’t breathe. It hurt so much, trying to gasp for air like a fish out of water. It was embarrassing._

_I couldn’t do anything. I don’t know what happened, I just remember being up against that cold door and telling myself to kick and fight and scream but none of it would come out. It was like my brain was screaming at my body to move but the message wouldn’t go through. It happened so fast, I guess I wasn’t expecting it._

_So after getting choked out for what felt like an eternity, it finally did get through. I started screaming, but it came out like little whimpers ‘cause I couldn’t breathe. It was the worst sound I’ve ever heard. I don’t want to think about it._

_I started kicking and hitting his hands, I didn’t aim for anywhere or do anything to help myself, I just panicked. And then he dropped me, and I remember my knees and hands hitting the floor hard, and I started making the weirdest gasping noises. I was crying. I didn’t realize I was crying at first, I just felt the tears falling off my face and they wouldn’t stop._

_“Are you sorry now?”_

_His face. Those eyes looking down at me, like I was the most pathetic piece of shit he’d ever seen. I didn’t really feel sorry. I just wanted it to stop. I want it all to just stop._

Prompto shook his head, trying to rid himself of these intrusive thoughts. He didn’t derive any benefit from reliving these nightmares. They just forced his way into his mind. He tried to look back up and find that name again.

More memories popped into his head. In one moment, he remembered Ardyn throwing a cast-iron pan at him, and the bruise he got on his right shoulder where it hit him as he was running away. The bruise stung when he thought about it. In another moment, he could feel the scars on his back tingle uncomfortably against his bedsheets. Ardyn’s belt was his preferred teaching tool. Prompto shivered as he recalled the feeling of the metal buckle snapping over his skin. Metal always hurt more than leather; they both left deep scars that trailed across his back. Prompto recalled the bright red blood that swirled in the water beneath him whenever he took showers afterward.

He winced as he turned to his side. The memories, the sensations, just wouldn’t stop, no matter how hard he stared into the ceiling above him. Prompto grabbed the pillow under his head and brought it over to his chest, hugging it closely as his body curled around it. His throat burned and his eyes watered.

_Noctis…_

He buried his head into the pillow.

_Why can’t you be here? Why can’t this pillow be you? We always used to cuddle together. I don’t care what anyone thought. I felt so safe there._

All the memories made him feel sick. Prompto tried to fill his head with thoughts of Noctis instead. He tried to remember what he felt like in his arms on those nights. He tried to remember the feeling of his arms wrapped around him, the sound of his soft snores, the scent of his soft hair. Admittedly, he felt a little pathetic, wrapped around this pillow, fantasizing about another boy. But he didn’t care how pathetic it made him look, he just wanted to get lost in someone and forget all about this miserable house. He wanted to get lost in Noctis.

Maybe he could blame it on the distance, on the loneliness, or on the closeness they once shared, but Prompto couldn’t deny that his heart had kindled a fire for the prince. Anyone could fall for a prince, of course. However, he’d built up something special with Noctis, on a personal level. It was no celebrity crush, even if it sometimes felt like one. It was a type of fondness reserved only for Noctis.

It was the type of fondness, in fact, that would make him kiss his pillow and pretend the soft cotton is Noctis’ lips, even if that’s far too embarrassing to ever admit to anyone. That’s about as far as Prompto would go with the pillow, in interest of keeping his dignity, but he allowed his mind to wander a bit further. 

_Noctis… so cute…_

He nuzzled his face into the pillow, hugging tighter.

_His black hair… falling over his eyes. The way he would look at me when I’d catch him watching me sleep._

Prompto let go of the pillow and pulled off his pajama pants, revealing his nude bottom half. He hated wearing boxers to bed. He bit his lip, closing his eyes as he wrapped a hand around himself.

_His lips… The way they curl at the edges when he smiles at me. Cute, pink lips. Pressed against mine._

He smiled when he thought of Noct’s own smile. He missed that sly smirk, and the rare genuine smiles he’d give whenever Prompto caught it in time.

_Noctis… pressing his tongue into my mouth. Running his hands in my hair. Pulling me in closer. His hands travelling down my chest, down at my hips. Down at my-_

Prompto’s breath hitched. He gripped at the bedsheets as he pumped faster.

_Rubbing me. Gods, I want him to rub me. Rubbing… inside of me. Filling me up. Harder. Faster. Please, Noctis. Harder. Oh, gods._

Prompto quickly brought a hand to his mouth and bit down as white, hot fluid spilled over his bed and on his body.

_Noctis…_

He curled up, trembling in the aftershock of his release. Truth be told, he almost wanted to cry. This shameful, sickening act was the last thread of what he had left of Noctis. He held onto these stupid feelings, and for what other reason than to feel less alone? Did he really like Noctis so much? Or was he just being his usual selfish, uncaring self?

After those feelings of guilt and shame set in, he immediately composed himself, throwing on a new pair of pajamas before gathering up his dirty sheets and stained clothes. He rolled everything up into one big conglomerate, which he held under his arm as he made his way to the laundry room. 

The laundry room had gained the title of being his second favorite room in the house. Its main features were lots of good smells and warm clothes, but it also remained the only room where nothing bad had happened to him. He hoped it would stay that way in the future.

Prompto lazily tossed his dirty clothes into the washing machine, poured out some detergent, and turned the knob. He rested his head against the cool aluminum lid as the machine rocked and pulsed. His eyelids fell to a close as he sighed.

“...I hate being here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit i'm sorry this took so long TT_TT i've been going through a lot lately, my phone also broke and my laptop got infected so all that damaged my writing process a bit. BUT FINALLY IT IS DONE I PROMISE IVE BEEN WORKING ON IT THIS WHOLE TIME I DIDNT FORGET!!! and there will be a lot more coming which (hopefully) doesn't take anywhere near as long as this one did, so keep reading! thank you fuck


End file.
